Ever since my arrival to Dubai. I've felt shitty and pretty homesick. But after 2 weeks of just feeling low and sad. I woke up again. It seems that life is always on the brink of being too much to handle; from juggling school and having multiple jobs while trying to squeeze in sleep to being unemployed. Everyone at some point in time learns that that is life. it is a struggle and thats why we call it life.
There are two ways I can approach this; embrace this new change in my life and let my life flow, or sit there worry, blame myself for nonsense, and feel sorry for myself.. knowing of course that there are other more important things going on in the world that are worthy of feeling sad for.
Today I was thinking about how overwhelming existence is. There is so much to be experienced. so many interesting places that I must see. Im still young. I have no responsibilities(except some small financial ones). I can make mistakes. I can mess up and do things all over again. Because im young. This is my time to do this. They tell you "do this while your still young" there must be a damn right good reason they say this.. shit. I'm hit by wonderlust yet again.
Just when I thought i've gotten over this idea of desire, ambition, and longing for so much more I'm stricken again. Bam! There’s something out there for me. something exciting.
I am sure many can relate to feeling so lost, confused, hopeless, experiencing a feeling of sadness and lonliness. sometimes not understanding what your brought out to do in this world, why you exist, why you feel the way you do, why you do the things you do, and i can go on and on, but I am not here to talk about that. but what got me started with this is because i've completely graduated that stage in my life. I never thought i would. For so long there was and sitll is this unfillfilling feeling this emptiness. But i view it differently.
I am here to say that I know I am neither lost or confused. I am also no longer worried about my future either because I know if I knew what my future has in hold for me my life would be oober boring!!!!
Let's be realistic here. I know there are places I will not get to see, people I will not get to meet, and most importantly, things i will not be able to try to let me learn about myself- but that doesn't go on to say that I won't learn from small things. from my walks, to my convos with friends, family and acquantiances.
Around every corner there are new adventures and new experiences to have. New lessons to learn. People to meet. The "old" me would have replied back with " there's not enough time". Screw time its just an illusion, right?
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