cog practices

·      I blankly stare at the person talking to me; they speak to me so deeply, searching for advice that I can share. I continue to stare Blankley. I have gotten so good at pretending to listen, I want to listen, but I am just not there.

·      It is hard to focus.

·      I lose track of what I am doing, and I forget things.

·      I am thinking of the million and one things I need to be doing. How can I be sitting down now. Too many things to do such little time, but I also want to just sleep.

·      I want to go back to  bed. Often I don't sleep well, so I want to take advantage of the days I do.. I want to sleep forever when I am able to sleep.

·      Things didn’t go as planned

·      I got angry.

·      Sometimes I become quiet sometimes I burst into anger, but when things don’t go right I usually respond with anger like today because I am irritated and frustrated why did it not go right why did it not go as I have planned? It’s annoying and I feel like the whole schedule is messed up now.

·      I feel distant. 

·      I get so angry with myself. Why are you so dramatic? Just calm down. Nothing is wrong live your life, life is beautiful enjoy it stop being so annoying.

·      I pulled my hair over and over again

·      I want to scream yell and shout.

·      I close my eyes and pretend. I pretend I am someone else. I pretend I live in a different world where my regrets are none, where I live freely without the tick tock noise. I want the concept of time to just go away.

·      I feel as though I bring negative energy and worry my sisters feel that way if I am there

·      I’m bothered even more when it was confirmed she’s trying to help me but now its even worse for me its not like I can just open up to them..

·      I want to do it all- I find myself thinking about the future a lot and getting scared and nervous yet I dream about this perfect life I will eventually have. I think I dream it because I am so afraid of it not happening. I have planned what I want to be doing, it needs to work it must work, it’s the only way to a successful life.

·      Nothing fits

·      I need to lose weight

·      thin make me happy.

·      You can look good in anything and everyting when your thin. I feel better